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Have you ever loved someone so much that you can’t imagine your world without them? How would you cope knowing you would never see that person again? Would you resort to alcohol and drugs, or would you find positive ways to cope with your tragic loss?
I buried my father, who was my best friend, a day before my 25th birthday. When the doctors called my family into his office and told us that my father was dead I screamed and kept yelling, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t live in this world without him.” He meant the world to me. Who was going to protect me? Who was going to be my best friend? I knew that I wanted to end my life because life wasn’t worth living if he wasn’t there. Days after the funeral, I was more and more depressed; all I could think about was seeing my father again. It has been three years since he has passed and I have learned how to cope with his untimely passing by doing the following:
- Have faith in God. My faith in God allowed me to survive this tragic loss. I never questioned God as to why He took my father away from me. I realized that everything happens for a reason and that I should always trust in Him and know that He would never leave me nor forsake me. I trusted Him and prayed for strength to make it through this tough time. It was difficult but God never let us down, each day we found the strength to make it through.
- Express how you are feeling. After my father passed, I started back writing poetry in order to express my feelings. The more I wrote about my father, the better I would feel. Writing poetry was similar to therapy because after I finished writing my poems, I could feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Also, I would talk to family members and friends about everything that I was feeling, which was very helpful because they were able to provide comfort through prayer, encouraging words, and love.
- Find positive ways to turn your tragedy into triumph. Instead of resorting to self-destructive ways to deal with a tragedy such as, alcohol and drugs, I channeled my energy into finding ways to make my father proud. My brother and I poured ourselves into our business support service. We wanted our father to be proud that we started our own family business. Also, I went back to school and obtained a Master’s degree in Accounting. Furthermore, I published my first book of poetry and dedicated it to God, my father and my family because without them I would not have had the willpower to write my book of poetry. A lot of people make the mistake of resorting to negativity in order to cope with losing a loved one. What people don’t realize is, no matter what you do if you don’t face your feelings then you will never be able to cope with your loss.
In conclusion, losing a loved one can be difficult to cope with. I encourage everyone to keep their faith in God because He hears your cries and knows your pain, and He will never leave you. Also, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside, be sure to express how you are feeling through writing, talking, drawing, etc. Lastly, channel your energy by turning your tragedy into triumph. You would feel a lot better knowing that your loved one is smiling down from heaven.
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Source by Patrice D. Wilkerson
