A poem by Alexander Pope (1688-1744)


Parson, these things in thy possessing

Are better than the Bishop’s blessing.

A Wife that makes conserves; a Steed

That carries double when there’s need:

October store, and best Virginia,

Tithe-Pig, and mortuary Guinea:

Gazettes sent gratis down, and frank’d,

For which thy Patron’s weekly thank’d;

A large Concordance, bound long since:

Sermons to Charles the First, when Prince;

A Chronicle of ancient standing;

A Chrysostom to smooth thy band in.

The Polygot – three parts, – my text,

Howbeit, – likewise – now to my next.

Lo here the Septuagint, – and Paul,

To sum the whole, – the close of all.

He that has these, may pass his life,

Drink with the ‘Squire, and kiss his wife;

On Sundays preach, and eat his fill;

And fast on Fridays – if he will;

Toast Church and Queen, explain the News,

Talk with Church-Wardens about Pews,

Pray heartily for some new Gift,

And shake his head at Doctor S-t.

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