Internal Migration On Being On Tour

A poem by Alan Dugan

As an American traveler I have

to remember not to get actionably mad

about the way things are around here.

Tomorrow I’ll be a thousand miles away

from the way it is around here. I will

keep my temper, I will not kill the dog

next door, nor will I kill the next-door wife,

both of whom are crazy and aggressive

and think they live at the center of culture

like everyone else in this college town.

This is because I’m leaving, I’m taking off

by car, by light plane, by jet, by taxicab,

for some place else a thousand miles away,

so I caution myself: control your rage,

even if it causes a slight heart attack.

Stay out of jail tonight before you leave,

and don’t get obstreperous in transit tomorrow

so as to stay out of jail on arrival tomorrow night.

Think: the new handcuffs are sharp inside

and meant to cut the wrists. You’re not too old

to be raped in their filthy overcrowded jails

and you’ll lose your glasses and false teeth.

How would you eat, study and be

a traveling lecturer if you got out alive and sane?

So remember to leave this place peacefully,

it’s only Asshole State University at Nowheresville,

and remember to get to the next place peacefully,

it’s only Nowhere State University at Assholesville

and you must travel from place to place for food and shelter.

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• Robert Burns: Written By Somebody On The Window Of an Inn at Stirling, on seeing the Royal Palace in ruin.: Of an Inn at Stirling, on seeing the Royal Palace in ruin. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: To Miss Ferrier: Enclosing the Elegy on Sir J. H. Blair. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Impromptu On Carron Iron Works: by Robert Burns
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• Robert Burns: On The Death Of John M’Leod, Esq,: Brother to a young Lady, a particular friend of the Author’s. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epigram To Miss Jean Scott: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Bard At Inverary: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Elegy On “Stella”: The following poem is the work of some hapless son of the Muses who deserved a better fate. There is a great deal of “The voice of Cona” in his solitary, mournful notes; and had the sentiments been clothed in Shenstone’s language, they would have been no discredit even to that elegant poet.-R.B. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Burlesque Lament For The Absence Of William Creech, Publisher: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epigram To Miss Ainslie In Church: Who was looking up the text during sermon. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Address To Wm. Tytler, Esq., Of Woodhouselee: With an Impression of the Author’s Portrait. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Hey, Ca’ Thro’ – Boat song: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epitaph For Mr. William Michie: Schoolmaster of Cleish Parish, Fifeshire. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epitaph For William Nicol, Of The High School, Edinburgh: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Lines Written Under The Picture Of The Celebrated Miss Burns: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: A Bottle And Friend: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: On Elphinstone’s Translation Of Martial’s Epigrams: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Book-Worms: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epigram Addressed To An Artist: by Robert Burns
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