Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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External links

Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

Talking Writing Monster’s Page –

Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• In Praise Of England poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Impromptu: To Frances Garnet Wolseley poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “`If you were mine, if you were mine” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• If I To You But Sorry Bring poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• I Chide Not At The Seasons poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Hymn To Death poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “Here, where the vine and fig bask hand in hand,” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “Here have I learnt the little that I know” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Grandmother’s Teaching poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Gleaners Of Fame poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “Give me October’s meditative haze” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “Give me a roof where Wisdom dwells” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “For where, beneath one’s parent sky” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “`Father, farewell! Be not distressed” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Farewell To Spring poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Farewell To Italy poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Dedication To The Edition Of 1876 To H.J.A. poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• Dedication To Lady Windsor poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “`Covet who will the patronage of Kings ” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin
• “Could I but leave men wiser by my song ” poem – Alfred Austin by Alfred Austin

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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