Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

Talking Writing Monster’s Page –

Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• A Serenade poem – Alexander Pushkin by Александр Пушкин
• A Magic Moment I Remember poem – Alexander Pushkin by Александр Пушкин
• Winter – The Fourth Pastoral, or Daphne poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Vertumnus and Pomona : Ovid’s Metamorphoses, book 14 [v. 623-771] poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Verses Left by Mr. Pope poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Translation of a Prayer of Brutus poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• To the Author of a Poem Entitled Succession poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• To Mrs. M. B. On Her Birthday poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• To Mr. Thomas Southern, on his Birth-Day poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• To Lady Mary Wortley Montagu poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Three Gentle Shepherds poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Temple of Fame poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Messiah : A Sacred Eclogue poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Looking-Glass. : on Mrs. Pulteney poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Iliad: Book VI (excerpt) poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Fable of Dryope – Ovid’s Metamorphoses Book 9, [v. 324-393] poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Dying Christian to His Soul poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Dunciad: Book IV poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Dunciad: Book III. poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Dunciad: Book II. poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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