Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• Three Songs Of Zahir U Din by Adela Florence Nicolson
• Thoughts Mahomed Akram by Adela Florence Nicolson
• Though In My Firmament Thou Wilt Not Shine by Adela Florence Nicolson
• This Month The Almonds Bloom At Kandahar by Adela Florence Nicolson
• There Is No Breeze To Cool The Heat Of Love by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Window Overlooking The Harbour by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Tom Toms by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Temple Dancing Girl by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Teak Forest by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Singer by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The River Of Pearls At Fez Translation by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Rice Was Under Water by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Rice Boat by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Regret Of The Ranee In The Hall Of Peacocks by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Rao Of Ilore by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Plains by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Net Of Memory by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Masters by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Lute Player Of Casa Blanca by Adela Florence Nicolson
• The Lament Of Yasmini The Dancing Girl by Adela Florence Nicolson

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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