Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Hail, Zaragoza! If With Unwet eye by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Hail, Twilight, Sovereign Of One Peaceful Hour by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Guilt And Sorrow, Or, Incidents Upon Salisbury Plain by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Great Men Have Been Among Us by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Goody Blake And Harry Gill by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Gipsies by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• George and Sarah Green by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• From The Italian Of Michael Angelo by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• From The Dark Chambers Of Dejection Freed by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• From The Cuckoo And The Nightingale by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Foresight by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Fidelity by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Feelings Of The Tyrolese by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Feelings Of A Noble Biscayan At One Of Those Funerals by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Feelings of A French Royalist, On The Disinterment Of The Remains Of The Duke D’Enghien by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Extract From The Conclusion Of A Poem Composed In Anticipation Of Leaving School by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Extempore Effusion upon the Death of James Hogg by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Expostulation and Reply by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Even As A Dragon’s Eye That Feels The Stress by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Epitaphs Translated From Chiabrera by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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