Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• England! The Time Is Come When Thou Should’st Wean by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Emperors And Kings, How Oft Have Temples Rung by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Ellen Irwin Or The Braes Of Kirtle by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Elegiac Stanzas Suggested By A Picture Of Peele Castle by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Dion [See Plutarch] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Crusaders by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed While The Author Was Engaged In Writing A Tract Occasioned By The Convention Of Cintra by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed Upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed on The Eve Of The Marriage Of A Friend In The Vale Of Grasmere by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed Near Calais, On The Road Leading To Ardres, August 7, 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed In The Valley Near Dover, On The Day Of Landing by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed During A Storm by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed By The Side Of Grasmere Lake 1806 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed By The Sea-Side, Near Calais, August 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed At The Same Time And On The Same Occasion by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Composed After A Journey Across The Hambleton Hills, Yorkshire by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Characteristics Of A Child Three Years Old by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Character Of The Happy Warrior by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Calm is all Nature as a Resting Wheel. by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• “Call Not The Royal Swede Unfortunate” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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