Madison Julius Cawein (Мэдисон Джулиус Кавейн)
Face to Face
Dead! and all the haughty fate Fair on throat and face of wax, White, calm hands crossed still and lax, Cold, impassionate! Dead! and no word whispered low At the dull ear now could wake One responsive chord or make One wan temple glow. Dead! and no hot tear would stir All that woman sweet and fair, Woman soul from feet to hair Which was once of her. God! and thus to die! and I - I must live though life be but One long, hard, monotonous rut, There to plod and - die! Creeds are well in such a case; But no sermon could have wrought More of faith than you have taught With your pale, dead face. And I see it as you see - One mistake, so very small! Yet so great it mangled all, Left you this and me! Oft I pondered saying, "Sure She could never live such life!" And the truth stabbed like a knife When I found you pure. Pure, so pure! and me bemoiled, Loathly as loathed vermin, just As weak souls are left of lust - Loveless, low, and soiled. Nay! I loved you then and love! - Grand, great eyes, I see them yet, Set like luminous gems of jet In wax lids above. Lips - O poor, dumb, chideless lips! Once as red as life could make, Moist as wan wild roses wake When the wild dew drips. Hair - imperial, full, and warm As a Grace's, where one stone Precious lay ensnared and shone Like a star in storm. Eyes - at parting big with pain; God! I see them and the tear In them - big as eyes of deer Led by lights and slain! Life so true! I falsely cursed - Lips that, curled with scorn and pride, Hurt me though I said they lied, While the true heart burst. Rest! my heart has suffered too: And this life had woe enough For the little dole of love Given to me and you. Can you hear me? can you know What I am and how it came, You, beyond me like a flame, You, before me like the snow! Dead! and all my heart a cup Hollowed for sad, bitter tears, Bitter in the bitter years Slowly brimming up. Sleep! 'tis well! but might have been Better! - yes, God knows it might! Better for me in His sight And my soul more clean. Sleep in very peace! but I With Earth's other fools will stay, Live 'mid laughter, day by day Mocking laugh and - die. You will know me now, I know, But in life had never known How, indeed, I was alone - But, 'tis better so. And I know you what you were, Faithful and - it were no use, Only to yourself abuse, - I shall tell you there. There beyond the lightning and The long clouds and utter skies, Moons and suns and stars that rise, Where we'll understand.
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